As a director of Russian marriage agency and several
dating sites where Russian women and Western men meet
I am often asked questions about different aspects of
relationship with Russian girls:
I've decided that I want to marry a Russian lady because they seem to have some sort of fascination for me.
What to begin with now? What should I do?
If you are new to Russian dating, the first thing you'd better to do is to read about Russian scammers,
because they are looking for people like you. You need to know some basics about it,
so that you were aware how to distinguish real Russian girls from scammers.
Read about the main scamming scenario. Also you can
read about other scenarios. That will help you to understand
better what is going on and what is the trap of it. Have you read through this?
Now you are forewarned and can begin to communicate with Russian women.
There are three types of Russian dating sites: sites where Russian ladies' emails are bought by men,
subscription sites and sites where the agency tells the men that Russian ladies do not have Internet access
(I suppose, according to their ideas, there are no telephones also, as well as electricity, central heating and
other means of civilization :)) and so they sell ladies' postal addresses and take some money for each letter
"delivered to her postal address".
I won't write here about the sites that just sell postal addresses of Russian ladies, since I have written in my
previous paragraph about absurdity of this, to say nothing of the enormous price of such a way of communication.
On my site a man and a woman need to exchange about 100 letters before they succeed to establish serious relations.
Some of the couples manage to write about 50 letters a day, thereby they write about 1000 letters
and even more before the man comes to meet his lady.
Sites that sell Russian women's emails are better than the first type.
But if you want to make it an honest business, it is SO hard to support!!
About 2 years ago I tried to shift one of our sites to the email selling system. It was awful!
The girls managed to change their email addresses every two months, with
previous one blocked or just not answering. Moreover, it is extremely difficult to catch scammers,
since not all of them have the same IP-address for all their entries, by which they could be blocked.
Just imagine - a beautiful girl registers at the site and nothing seems suspicious about her
(it is not the best idea to block the person only because she has beautiful face and great figure!)
You activate her profile and immediately 20 men buy her email address and other information.
And just a month later you find out that she is a scammer!
On subscription site it is easier to find out. Scammers want to have as many victims as possible and thus write,
write and write to all men without distinction. They pretend to be interested only in them,
they say they have just looked at their profile (without photo, hmm) and have fallen in love.
Thus, just one look at the girl's mailbox or a single complaint from any
man is enough to see that she is suspicious and start checking her and then, if this proves, delete her profile.
But how to do it on the
site that sells emails? The third problem I faced in my attempts to
work upon this kind of sites is the
problem of choice. Of course, you can sell the ladies' email addresses
but you can't make them answer men. A girl can simply
loose interest in search (i.e. the previous day she had a big row with her boyfriend and applied to some
marriage agency, but today she is in love with him again). She as well can just dislike the man who
has written to her. The girls are not goods,
they are free to decide and choose. If a girl is beautiful she can get about
20 letters each day and has many alternatives.
There are some sites that even offer money for the girls who answer men's letters, but I consider it dishonest.
It is no surprise that nothing serious will come of it and the man will just loose time. The next
problem is that some Russian
women who register on the site manage to find a man whom they want to see as their partner in life very
quickly (it can take them one or two weeks). They register, spend two weeks of communication with
different men and then remove their profiles from the site as they have found their only one and
want to try to build the relationship only with him.
On the subscription site it is all right. The girl deletes herself and the next day the men see that she is
deleted and are no more interested in her. But when they buy her email, they have nobody to ask why she has disappeared.
Moreover, there are even some agencies that prefer not to disactivate profiles of the women gone away although they have
asked to delete them. It's understandible. If a profile brings you about $100 a day, will you want to
kill such a golden goose?
This site is a subscription type. It means that you register and, as soon as you pay, you get full access to the
system. You can write to any girl in the gallery, their answers sent to your mailbox on the site.
You have different ways to show your interest to the girls of your choice. They have this possibility also.
Here Russian women do not have to pay for the membership, as they become gold clients as soon as we check
their profiles and activate them. If you like the girl and so does she, you can decide to exchange personal emails
and continue your correspondence on the private territory. You can as well decide to use the site
further on. Some couples prefer this way since the site has free online translator.
Any moment you can hide your profile and then only the girls you address to will see your
profile, while all others won't see you in the gallery.
You are welcome to register at the site and communicate with Russian women.
As soon as you find someone whom you would like to see or even several girls one of whom
is supposed to make a perfect match for you - do
not waste time! Go to Russia! Meet your lady! And if everything goes just perfect - make a fiancee visa for her
and bring her to your country.
My parents say that All Russians are part of Russian mafia. Is it true?
I'm recalling one funny situation. Once I talked to a user in the support chat.
We used to have a web-camera in the office then.
At this moment a client from Norway appeared in the doorway. He was a tall, big man, about 192 cm height.
He glanced at the people in the support chat through the cam.
And, all at once, they began to ask me if they should call the police, as we
have mafia in the office, and if the man will do something to them, although they were very far away from Russia.
It was very difficult for me to explain them that it is not a Russian mafia but merely a client from Norway.
We laughed a lot that day. This was the only experience in my life when I "met mafia".
I am not at all sure there is such a criminal structure as Russian mafia at all.
There are criminals, there are criminal groups but it is the same as in every country.
I had met some very nice people from Russia in my neighborhood and thought about trying out online dating with
Russian women, but I wonder if after I brought my Russian bride to USA she will leave me and go to another man.
The divorce can happen in any marriage. If you want your marriage to last, it should bring something to the both
You should think what you can give to your wife. Is it stability, joy, caring and love, rich life or possibility
You should also think what you want to receive from her - love and care, warmth, envy of your friends and
partners or joy and romance. Will this exchange be equal? Will the things you give agree with the things you want to get?
Search for a woman for whom the things you can give are really valuable. Using our test you can predict the things
important for your partner. If your relations are fair and both partners see that they receive the same as give,
then no woman will leave you.
This was an advice about marriage in respect of any woman. As for Russian women, family is a great value for them.
Many Russian girls grow up in the families without a father, thus they can see how unhappy their mothers are having
no normal family. Otherwise, if the girl comes from happy family, she all the more so understands that the happiness
in life can be obtained only in family. For Russian girls a happy family is the most successful career.
Just do not follow only beautiful appearance; you should look further and search for beautiful soul and true love.
My friend has a Russian wife and I would like to find a Russian bride.
But will it be easy for me to bring her to USA?
You will need to meet her in Russia first. If you really want a girl to be your bride, you can make
a fiancee visa for her and bring her to USA. Many Americans found their love in Russia, having no problem with bringing
their bride to USA and marrying her there. The only thing you should know is that no Russian girl can just come
to USA (for work, by tourist visa or by invitation) to meet you there. If a girl proclaims that she can do it
she is very probably a scammer.
I am fascinated by Russian girls, but I have heard that these Russian golddiggers in short skirts marry
Americans for their money.
There is percent of women in USA and Russia, as well as in other countries, who want to marry a man for his money.
But Russian girls who want to marry a man for money now prefer to marry rich Russians rather than Americans or other
Western men. No American will throw away money like rich Russians can do (the so-called "new Russians").
No American will lavish suchlike presents on his girlfriend as rich Russians do.
Thus Russian women who want to sell their beauty and youth for richies drive in their Merсs and Lexuses along the
streets of Moscow, St,Petersburg and Kiev.
The girls who come to the agency search for Love, for marriage, for family. These are the things important for them.
Can Russian girls search for a husband abroad to get a green card?
Russia has a period of relative economical and political stability now. That is why Russian women don't try to
immigrate using all possible ways and leave the man after settling in another country. Family values have the
primary important for Russian women, they want to have loyal husbands, they want to have children, they want to
have happiness and fun in their family life.
I have heard that some of these Russians, as pretty as they are, used to be prostitutes.
Prostitutes very rarely look for husbands abroad. If they are beautiful enough and still look great, they will have very good
profit here. Suchlike women prefer to "enjoy life" as it is and not to look into future.
When a prostitute becomes old and not so beautiful, she won't
have a chance to meet anybody on Russian dating sites also. In any case, prostitutes have different mentality.
You will feel this as soon as you talk to her. Many human values are not important for prostitutes.
Do not look for girls who want only your money, look for the girls who are interested in YOU.
A friend of mine brought to my attention the idea of meeting Russian ladies. He suggested putting my info on one
of dating sites and waiting for beautiful Russian models write to me.
Why don't you want to be active yourself? To search and find Russian ladies that you are interested in? Many say
that even average Russian girls look like models in the West, but Russian most beautiful ladies (and men when
they come to the site flawlessly find them and want their attention) have big amount of letters, they can choose,
and if it is not a scammer, usually she has enough men to choose among and won't write to everybody.
Do you want to be chosen? Write to her, make your letter interesting, ask some questions, write something
interesting about yourself.
I'd been looking for a mail order bride from Eastern Europe for a couple of years with no luck.
What am I doing wrong?
I need to know more to say what mistakes you are making.
The most common mistakes men do when they search for a wife in Russia:
1. Judge women by photos. Glamourous
photos as if they are from women's magazine attract men's attention. It may sound surprising, but 80 percent
of letters are received by 20 percent of women. However, they are no more beautiful and interesting
than the others. They have just better pictures.
Men do not pay attention to psychological test results and compatibility. But they will live with a woman, not
with pictures. They will be unhappy if they have beautiful wife who is quarreling all the time
or constantly nagging them having no desire to sleep with them.
Quite recently I talked to a man from Spain, he was complaining that he had got acquainted by Internet with
several Russian ladies, who were completely breathtaking in their pictures. However, when he came to meet them they
were just average, not superordinary, not like those models on the catwalks.
He was walking along the streets of St.Petersburg and saw many beautiful Russian girls walking along the streets.
They were not in a hurry and talked with their friends, laughed a lot. Why then did he meet Russian ladies who
were beautiful in the pictures, but occured to be tired, dull and not so cheerful? Yes, it can happen also.
If a girl exausts herself with work (she has, for example, to care alone for her child or she needs to rent an
apartmnet, which is very expensive in Russia) she looks not her best, and you can't imagine how she changes after
taking rest or after she does not need to work so hard anymore. By accident, all the Russian girls that he met
were hard working ones and he saw them after full working day (in one case after a night shift).
But the girls he saw in the street were either those who had holidays
or students on vacation or even those who did not work at all as they had boyfriends who cared for them.
That were the reasons for such a difference!
2. The second mistake the men who are looking for a Russian bride do is a consequence of the abovementioned.
Many men look for model appearance, they want to be an envy of all their friends, although they want to live
with normal girls - warm, kind-hearted and faithful.
But most girls who look like models do not want real relationship. They want only men's admiration, they want
to be in the spotlight of attention. They do not need closeness, intimacy and warmth.
The second reason is that even if there is such a paragon who combines model appearance with warmth and comfort, there
is no guarantee that she will choose you to be her partner.
Women like this are very rare. We have a joke about it:
Two men are sitting near a fireplace. One man says looking in the
fire. - I was never married in my life. - Why? - I was always searching for a perfect woman for me. - And? Did not
you find her? - I did find her. But she was looking for a perfect man.
It is a sad joke but I have met some men who were acting like this and I saw them on different sites for more than 10 years.
3. The next mistake is the choice! Men just can't stop and some women are into this also. But the best is an enemy of the good.
They find someone and arrange a meeting. Everything is all right but they continue to look for new women on and on.
They are poisoned by an idea that maybe somewhere there is a person with whom they will feel better,
who is more interesting.
4. Men register at the site, but they do not want to place any photo there or they place a photo where it is
impossible to see them or they put terrible photos. Some men are under illusion that pictures do not mean
anything for women. It is men who choose by pictures, but women prefer them to write clever words, write about
their profession, their hobbies. Yes, it is good when you write a lot about you, but for women also their attitude to you is
determined by your pictures. They do not want men to look like models (in fact, men-models will most likely
frighten them away), but they want to see your smile and your eyes; they want feel calmness and reliability that
comes from you. For some of them it is important to see you in your home. And only then they will read about your
hobbies, interests and likes. For this reason men are also easy victims for scammers, since scammers do not pay
attention to pictures and ready to answer or write to you without asking for new pictures.
5. About 50 percent of men who register on the site prefer to sign in and then wait for Russian beautiful girls
to write to them. Guess who has more letters, more choice and more chances to find their love. Is it these 50 percent
who are just sitting and waiting for their dream girl to write to them or men who are active and do their
search? Yes, the second group of men has much higher
chances, especially if we take into account that many women do not want to be the initiators of the
communication, having traditional views on this and regarding men as an active side.
6. But the strategy that surpsises me most is the attitude of some men who need 10 times (or something like
that) of confirmation that this particular woman wants to communicate with them. They send women a wink, receive
a letter or a wink in return, then send her a postcard, receive something, then wink, wink, wink, after 6
"signs of attention" most women begin to get tired of it and stop answering. But the man continues to send these
signs to the women of his choice. Most Russian girls are already not interested in them.
7. The last common mistake is that men want to find many women to visit in Russia and only then come. However, in
reality women who were interested in them before, soon loose interest and search for somebody else, while the men
continue their search in the attempt to find more ladies. Then again some ladies do not want to wait for the man
to come only in some unknown distant future and after some time of getting no answer about the date of his arrival
they become indifferent to the man.
It is an endless process.
Can you suggest any method to choose? There are so many Russian ladies on the site, and
I feel at a loss what ladies to write to?
The site has a set of five hearts that shows compatibility with girls on the site. I would recommend to search
for women who are compatible with you (mark this option in the search or just look in the gallery where
you can see instant compatibility rate). Then look attentively at Russian ladies who are compatible with you
and read their profiles, look at their pictures and write to those of them you like.
Another thing is to think what you suggest to her, where she will live with you after her marriage. If you live
in a remote place, far from big cities and crowds of people, it is better to look for librarians or nurses,
for women from small places. Girls from big cities will soon get tired of so small place and can run away from you.
The problems with choice face many men , that's where from their desire to be chosen by women, and answer only
to women who will write to them.Use the instant compatibility rate and it won't be difficult for you but will help you to avoid many mistakes.
I think, I am ready now for a personal meeting with a lady I am corresponding now. How can we do it? Do I have to come to Russia?Can she come to USA?
No, you have to come to Russia or meet in the country that does not need a visa to enter (Turkey, Egypt,
Jamaika), though we strongly recommend you to come in Russia, meet the lady and, if you fall in love with each other,
see her relatives there.
First, it will help you to avoid scammers. These are "women" who tell you that they can come to you to USA or European
country, but they just need you to send money for the trip (at least half of it). But alas ... they take money
but never come. Second, it will help you to understand your bride, her surroundings, her family.
Yes, the trip to Russia takes some time and money, but if you find your love, it is worth it.
But before going to Russia - just phone her, talk with her several times and if everything is all right, then go!